Wallbanger

Wallbanger The first night after Caroline moves into her fantastic new San Francisco apartment she realizes she s gaining an intimate knowledge of her new neighbor s nocturnal adventures Thanks to paper thin wa

The first night after Caroline moves into her fantastic new San Francisco apartment, she realizes she s gaining an intimate knowledge of her new neighbor s nocturnal adventures Thanks to paper thin walls and the guy s athletic prowess, she can hear not just his bed banging against the wall but the ecstatic response of what seems as loud night after loud night goes by liThe first night after Caroline moves into her fantastic new San Francisco apartment, she realizes she s gaining an intimate knowledge of her new neighbor s nocturnal adventures Thanks to paper thin walls and the guy s athletic prowess, she can hear not just his bed banging against the wall but the ecstatic response of what seems as loud night after loud night goes by like an endless parade of women And since Caroline is currently on a self imposed dating hiatus, and her neighbor is clearly lethally attractive to women, she finds her fantasies keep her awake even longer than the noise So when the wallbanging threatens to literally bounce her out of bed, Caroline, clad in sexual frustration and a pink baby doll nightie, confronts Simon Parker, her heard but never seen neighbor The tension between them is as thick as the walls are thin, and the results just as mixed Suddenly, Caroline is finding she may have discovered a whole new definition of neighborlyIn a delicious mix of silly and steamy, Alice Clayton dishes out a hot and hilarious tale of exasperation at first sight

  • [PDF] Wallbanger | by µ Alice Clayton
    460 Alice Clayton
Wallbanger

  1. ALICE CLAYTON worked in the cosmetics industry for over a decade before picking up a pen read laptop.She enjoys gardening but not weeding, baking but not cleaning up, and finally convinced her long time boyfriend to marry her.Now, about that Bernese Mountain dog.

913 Reply to “Wallbanger”

  1. 5 HUGE STARS LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS BOOK EVERYONEHASTO READ IT This book was brilliant Pure gold I m in love with Simon Completely, utterly in love.My cheeks ache from laughing.My heart is happy.Did I mention I love this book This book was pure, decadent, lighthearted, un put downable, FUN A well written, perfect blend of all things happy, romantic, sweet, funny hilarious, really , melty, swoony, witty, steamy, with just enough tender, deeper moments to make my heart squeeze I fell in love wit [...]


  2. BANG BANG BANG Oh GodBANG BANG BANG Oh GodNG BANG BANG OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOOOOOODDDD THE WALLS ARE SHAKING, PICTURES ARE FALLING DOWN RUN FOR COVER PEOPLE GRAB YOUR FAVOURITE BOOK, SHOVE IT DOWN YOUR DRESS AND HIDE UNDER THE TABLE I THINK WE RE HAVING AN EARTHQUAKE BUT Wait A SecNot an earthquake, definitely not an earthquake.One, only one wall is shakingLIKE SOMEONE S BANGING ON IT Let s take a closer look, Shall we OH, GOD Thump Oh, God Thump thump What the Oh, God, that s so good Mmmm Y [...]


  3. Text messages between The Book and Blacky So, what do you think about me Well you weren t short at all DWell yeah I m pretty long and thickJust about average I d sayPfttt you are average missy Didn t you like all the humor Yeah it was good I guess, the scene with Dr Ross was the best DOhhhh yes, makes me think of dirty things, that man I wish I had my O back Yes, I wish it too Your O brought frustration to me than it did to you Whatcha sayin You didn t like all the sexual frustration How is tha [...]


  4. Have you ever been in the honeymoon phase with someone You know, that dreamy world where everything the other person does is magic and you can t seem to get enough of each other Usually during this time you go AWOL from the rest of your lives for a few weeks and mash your squishy bits together 24 7 At some point usually when chafing forces you out of your hormone induced frenzy you remember there are other people in your life and so you emerge from your lust filled cocoon and introduce this incr [...]


  5. Kittens,lay back.You are about to get Wallbanged I was an addict craving her dose.I was lost in a dull world full of mundane stuff for so long I almost became a mundane myself.After a month of abstinence from reading and severe book deprivation,after long days and bookless nights,the time came to return where I belong.And I had to celebrate I wanted something light.I wanted saucy and funny and Wallbanger promised to deliver them all.And oh boy,it did But it also delivered sweet,and fluffy,and dr [...]


  6. Review posted at Swept Away By Romance 3 1 2 to 4 starsThere s no doubt Wallbanger is a fun, delightful, moderately sexy, feel good read that bordered on the ANNOYING There were times I felt like wallbanging my head against the wall with the amount of unresolved sexual tension this poor couple was put through Geez This particular aspect of the story became so frustrating I enjoyed getting to know the two main characters, Simon and Caroline They were endearing, playful maybe a little immature for [...]


  7. What is with these OMG Super Hot Fun books that become all the rage here on GR lately And they are all the same.A Mary Sue heroine with a perfect job and perfect friends who looks perfect but for some reason is alone and sexually frustrated And she s all kinds of batshit about her perceptions of men or sex or men AND sex Thus, the heroine of what exactly Then the hero Well he s of course otherworldly gorgeous and fit, although he puts absolutely no effort into becoming that way, and most of the [...]


  8. ETA downgraded to 3 stars September 20, 2015 Hello O Nice to see you again With his lips he brought me one 3.5 stars I mean it And I want half stars Once upon a time there was a missing O The pressure of an O long denied, waiting patiently and sometimes impatiently for her release Lucky you, because you found The Wallbanger Simon How s the pressure now Caroline Do you want me to hurt you Shut it a look of dreamy bliss on her face Enter Baba Hey guys I wanna have a little chat with you Are you ga [...]


  9. 5 Bring it on home, Wallbanger stars This was me 95% of the bookd laughing This is the story of wallbanging photographer Simon and interior designer Caroline Their apartments are across the hall from each other and the walls are very very thin you can hear everything that s going on in each other s apartments Are you following me so far Well, Simon doesn t do relationships, flowers, etcd one night while BANGING yes he was.he hears BANGING and not the kind you re thinking of DOOR BANGING.he then [...]


  10. So disappointed This book went from O.M.G to a big fat D.N.F at 75% I really and I mean REALLY enjoyed the opening of this book, and was looking forward to a great read But in the end, I gave it too much of my time and finally just had to call it quits.Oh, it started off so funny and original The Wallbanger and Cock blocker jokes were cute Simon was such a mystery, and Caroline was a person I would love to hang with if she was a real person Her conversations with her cat had me laughing And when [...]



  11. Just what I needed During a pretty mad point in my year end, Alice Clayton put the smile on my face I so needed I loved Caroline, although she was a little crackers, but I ve got to cut the girl some slack because if I d have been lacking in the area in which she was oh so lacking, then I guess I would be a bit of a loose canon too Enter Simon The flirting, sexual tension and innuendos that were batting between these two almost me had me wishing I could magic myself into the scene to rip their c [...]


  12. This book is effin hilarious I was laughing non stop for sure.And Harriet, my mate only made it double exciting When I picked up the first page, I wasAnd we move, 50% dear me, By 85% I was equally frustrated with her, chasing her Big O, and Simon is ain t helping at all Damn, UST is way too much Finally, I was screaming with at happiness at 92% and in love What I can say , I really really had fun with Simon, Caroline, Clive such a character Let s meet them 3Simon, Mr Wallbanger winks Caroline, M [...]



  13. I realize that I m probably in the minority here but while I found the story funny at times, I just didn t find it fulfilling Caroline has a very unique way of thinking and comes across bit quirky which I like I really respected how Simon approached the development of this new relationship which made him all the likeable as he could have blown our expectations out of the planet with how entangled his web was Caroline and Simon felt a product of circumstance and matchmaking than anything else T [...]


  14. Essential elements of a sensational romantic comedy novel Strong, sarcastically hilarious heroine CheckGorgeously sexy, hot hero OMG, check, check and CHECK Sizzling chemistry Check Hilariously rude flirting Check Wickedly sensational banter HELL YEAH Check Swoony romance CheckSteam factor Holy hell, CHECK Love, love, love this book It was hilarious, gorgeously swoony, and so much fun Fucking Wallbanger, I hissed, frozen on the spot His grin slid off as well as he played place the face for a mom [...]


  15. 5 Wallbanging Stars This is one of those stories that has made me fall completely and madly in book love, I can t believe I nearly never read it What was I thinking Sexual frustrationWantingNeedingAllowing yourself All experienced in this book Wallbanger has a cast of wonderful characters led by our hero and heroine, Simon and Caroline, and featuring Clive, a cat lol, he s a comedy star The premise of the story is Caroline has a new neighbour, Simon he likes his ladies and banging walls lol,lol [...]


  16. This book cured me of my HUGE reading funk 4 stars for the story and the humor 1 extra star for the last two chapters Damn I loved that bit a lot just over capacity ed me , so I m gonna try posting my review another day In the mean time , READ this book Its fuckin hilarious and awesome Edit 30 11 2012 Now, Backbone and Brain were solidly in the wait for sex camp, believing this essential to the foundation of this burgeoning relationship LC Lower Caroline , and therefore Simon s penis, were in th [...]


  17. 4 Simon Baker The Mentalist, Flirty, Banter, Baked Goods Stars Spoiler FreeDear Ms Clayton,I am writing to you as I know you have a close personal relationship with Simon, Caroline and their posse I wanted to first congratulate you on excellent taste You telling us about these people in the way that you did, just brightened up my day It was such a change to see grown up, evolved professionals behave as friends, looking out for one another and interacting in a respectful manner That they weren t [...]


  18. Wallbanger is the literary equivalent of a long night giggling with your best friend over cocktails pints of ice cream It just makes you feel good Nights like that might not be life altering but they ll stick with you all the same A fond memory you can draw on when you re having a rough day This book will affect you in a similar way We all know the premise Caroline moves into a new condo and is repeatedly woken up by her neighbor s headboard banging into the wallAfter confronting the sex machine [...]


  19. And the Wallbanger book is born.The Abtastic Ab Loving GeishasAnd the date was set the Wallbanger enthusiasts started reading.2 3 days after.F no This is not a 5 star read.Oh boy mouths Someone s not happy.Ok To explain It started out good Really good, actually.It was hilarious and the story held my interest first.Heck, who wouldn t be addicted to you when you can squeeze orgasm out of a woman s vagina like I do with my juicing oranges every morning But while this was a cute read and you seem to [...]


  20. I had a good time reading this with my friends at the abtastic ab loving geishas, but I did find it a little juvenile and shallow Funny but juvenile and shallow.The best part of the book was Clive the Cat Clyde falls in love with a girl who meows, attacks his owner s new boyfriend s head, and even flips off Caroline Shut it, Clive, I hissed A paw came out through the crack and I swear he flipped me offI can honestly say that this is the first cat I ve ever liked I ve always known that cats are e [...]


  21. Laugh out loud, snort tea through your nose, stupid grin on your face funny I found that this took a little while to get going At about the 25% mark, it was dragging and I was thinking to myself Ok, so Come on, get to the point And then it did And it was hilariously funny, brilliantly witty, yet adorably romantic and incredibly sexy Yep, all of those things rolled into one book.Wrapped around each other but now clad in a pink nightie and a pair of sweatpants To be clear, I wore the pink nightie. [...]


  22. 3.5 stars Ok, let s keep this short and sweetThis book was OKAY but just okay, nothing exciting I was expecting much but well, I guess I am in a book funk at the moment.Simon and Caroline live in the same building They meet each other because Simon is a Wall Banger Yes, he f cks different chicks every night and Caroline and her sweet and EVIL cat Clive can t sleep So well, you re probably getting the picture One night she knocks on his door and TA CHAN they see each other and they feel this spe [...]


  23. Kittens, lay back You are about to get Wallbanged, Oh My God H O T N E S S MY SIMON WALLBANGER image error Uploaded with ImageShack Simon Wallbanger The book started with a lot of thump thump spank me thum thump meow,meow thump thump giggles the spanking, the meowing, the giggles belong to three different harems and the thumping was all done by the Giant Bed of Sin Caroline, his neighbor, with a missing O got pissed with the nightly banging, bang his doors wearing her pink nightied starts the wh [...]


  24. Hump Alert Simon was just swoon Hot, loving, hot, sexy, smoking hot, sweet, caring and totally adorable Boy, did he BANG with wall out of wallbanging LOLCaroline, Independent, refreshing, lovely, sweet, pretty and hot Liked her character, not the normal Bella types who whines, who s clingy, pissing off etc The book wasn t HA HA funny but it was very humorous, had amazing punch lines and nasty double meaning rounds going The characters were nice and something fresh enjoyed them D Towards the end [...]


  25. Oh, God Thump Oh, God Thump thump.What the Oh, God, that s so good SO.DAMN.FUNNY.I loved the characters,the story,the humor,the chemistry between Simon and Caroline,Caroline s best friends, CLIVE Such a wonderful and quirky story that got me laughing out loud so many times.I would swear, on a stack of Bibles in a court of actual law, that I heard my cat speak Porrrrreeeennnnnya, Clive said, and I whirled about In the span of five seconds, a thousand things happened I saw Simon and Purina in the [...]


  26. I dunno It was cute up until they went to Spain After that, I just kind of lost interestTo be fair though, it was overall better than I was expectingEVER I need to mention this because I M FUCKING SICK OF EVERY MALE LEAD IN EROTICAS HAVING 200 PACK ABS THIS GUY IS LITERALLY A PHOTOGRAPHER FOR A LIVING AND THERE IS ZERO MENTION OF HIM GOING TO THE GYM ON A REGULAR BASIS DO YOU REALIZE HOW HARD IT IS TO GET ABS IF YOU RE NOT CONSTANTLY WORKING OUT, EATING THE MOST SPECIFIC DIET and trust me Simon [...]


  27. 3.5 Stars Fun story A little sexy, but you vegottawaitr it A bit unbelievable Annoying cat, but also hilarious Really likeable, normal peopleis was my favorite part.While I enjoyed the story and got a few good chuckles out of it, once again I wasn t as enad as everyone else seemed to be I feel like the old grumpy Grandma sitting in her recliner hollering at everyone to quiet down The story was fun and light with a nice sweet contemporary romance to read when you don t want anything heavy weighin [...]


  28. i am still bouncing between 2 and 3 stars why aren t there half stars its2.5 Stars The thing that made me bump this up to 3 stars was definitely the banter, it was super funny and sexy after thinking about it a bit i did bump it down after all to much babbling and cliche Actually other than the banter i didnt enjoy the book that much.Honestly I ended up liking this than I initially thought.About 20% in I wouldn t even have given it 2stars it was just so cliche, and I found Caroline rather whine [...]


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